This Is Your Brain...

I found this big ass spider yesterday, which is actually quite a descriptive term. As you can see, this spider has a HUGE ass. I think it may have been a pregnant female. She couldn't even hold herself up on her web. Now, I hate spiders. Really, truly hate spiders w/ a passion. But this one was so odd looking I just had to catch it to show everyone. It has the biggest body of any spider I've ever seen. It took me forever to catch her 'cause I was so scared to go near. It gave me the willie squidgets just look at her.

Click here to view the whole album.

Labels: et cetera

Posted by Teriana at 3:33 PM | Permalink | Comments

When I was still in AK my boss's husband and brother-in-law began working on a tribal canoe along w/ several other people. It's finally finished and Fox News in D.C. did a story on the canoe. Here's a clip. Her husband can be seen carrying the canoe right after the elderly native finishes talking and her brother-in-law is the younger person that speaks. Pretty hard to believe they carved those intricate designs out of a big tree trunk.

Labels: et cetera

Posted by Teriana at 6:11 PM | Permalink | Comments

In reference to this steering wheel.

By mycamaroSS on LS1tech.com: "that would piss me off imo..id be like why isnt it moving than id stare at it and than run over some babies"

Labels: quote of the day

Posted by Teriana at 1:08 AM | Permalink | Comments

Labels: wordless wednesday

Posted by Teriana at 11:02 PM | Permalink | Comments

...in a lake when they're trying to load their boat on the ramp? That was the question one deputy asked the responding officer last night after hearing the call on the radio. We got to Dixon Lake in Otsego County a little before midnight expecting to find some drunk idiot scratching his head and a big conversion van in the water. We found neither. The guy wasn't drunk and the van was no where in sight. It couldn't be seen even w/ 3 flashlights shining on the area.

The guy claimed he was backing up his van so he could load his 12 ft boat on top of it when the brakes went out. Somehow the 6,000 pound van managed to find its way nearly 50 yards past the shore. And as if this guy wasn't already having the worst day of his life, he explained to the deputy that he had just left his wife that day and everything he owned was in the van. Well, immediately everyone was wondering if perhaps wifey was in the van chopped up in the cooler along with the walleye he caught. So he got to spend a couple hours in the back of a patrol car 'til everything was figured out. The wife was contacted to make sure she was okay and she apparently had no idea he was leaving her. He left her a note that she hadn't found yet. I hope he was able to get home before she found that note 'cause he had nowhere else to go. That van was gonna be his home for a little while so he had just cleaned it all out that day and polished it up nice. Perhaps he should have spent a little time checking it out mechanically and maybe he would have seen all the brake fluid leaking out.

The Charlevoix County dive team came out to find the van and hook up the lines so a wrecker could pull it out. That poor guy is gonna have a $1,200 tow bill at least. They brought out the big semi wrecker and two flat beds, one for the van and one for the teeny boat. Perhaps the funniest thing of all was that when they pulled the van from the water it was in park. Before the guy rolled down the window to escape with his life from this sinking vehicle he was courteous enough to throw it in park so it wouldn't roll away and hit any of the other submerged vehicles.

Labels: bad boys bad boys

Posted by Teriana at 11:09 AM | Permalink | Comments

Labels: wordless wednesday

Posted by Teriana at 10:39 PM | Permalink | Comments

I finally got to see somebody tased last night at the jail. This obnoxious @$$wipe that all the CO's and other inmates wanted drug out in the street and shot finally went far enough to get it. He was screaming profanities and giving orders to the female CO and wouldn't get off the phone as instructed. She tried to reason w/ him, but when he puffed up and said she was gonna feel his wrath she popped him. He continued on his hissy fit for a while, but he did as instructed after that. After he calmed down and was returned to his cell he took a shower and went right to bed. He didn't even call back his "woman" he was on the phone with.

It was kinda funny 'cause that night I had jokingly told them that I wanted to see someone tased before I left. Only jokingly 'cause I knew the odds were slim to none that it would happen since only 2 other people had been tased in over a year. I guess it just takes a special kind of jerkwad to get it.

Labels: bad boys bad boys

Posted by Teriana at 10:29 AM | Permalink | Comments

The 70's gave us some great inventions: liposuction, Pong and Wonder Sauna Hot Pants.





"Slenderize where you want. One size fits all -- easy to inflate. One piece Wonder Sauna Long Hot Pants simultaneously reduces waist, hips and thighs." Must be the stripes make you look thinner.

Labels: wordless wednesday

Posted by Teriana at 11:26 PM | Permalink | Comments

Saturday was exciting on patrol with the sheriff's dept. Even tho the deputy I rode w/ didn't write one ticket or make one arrest and the only call he was sent to on his own was for a barking dog (imagine calling a police officer away from his duties 'cause you can't talk to you neighbor about their dog). The other deputy on duty got all the action and we got to assist.

The first drunk of the night turned out to be a friend of the deputies. He mentioned that it gets tough hanging out with non-cops 'cause you end up arresting your friends or your friend's relative. I asked him what he thought about the new .08 intoxication law in Michigan and proceeded to tell him a story about one of my friends who got arrest for DUI after blowing a .09 when he clearly wasn't intoxicated at the time (tho he prolly was when driving earlier). Then I elaborated how my friend ended up paying close to $5,000 in fines and court costs b/c of the ordeal and he learned his lesson after that. Can anyone predict the irony coming? Yes, that very same friend who learned his lesson the first time was arrested again that night. This time blowing at .19 and I found a half empty bottle of beer in his truck.

The one time I thought we'd caught our own drunk driver was a little after 3 AM. We were in central dispatch and the deputy was showing me all the important (and often undervalued) work they do there when he saw a driver w/ no headlights go passed the building. When we caught up to the car it was weaving all over the road. He even drove up onto the sidewalk when we lit him up. Turns out he hadn't had a sip of alcohol, but he was on sleeping pills and anti-depressants 'cause his wife of 50+ years had died 2 months earlier. He didn't get a ticket or anything, but the man did NOT want to leave his car there and be taken home. The deputy talked with him for 10 minutes trying to get him out of the car to take him home, but the man insisted he was fine to drive. When we finally got him home, he acted like he was best friends with the deputy and nothing had happened. I think there was more affecting him than just the pills. So just to make sure he has all his faculties when driving, the man will have to take a driving test with the SOS (that's like the DMV for all you fudgies).

So it was an interesting night. It makes me wish there were more transportation options available for inebriated people in that small town.

Labels: bad boys bad boys

Posted by Teriana at 2:01 PM | Permalink | Comments

Looks like it's universal. Leaving your spent toenails there on the floor as God intended is still the number 1 answer. Three weirdos carry them to the trash and throw them away.

Labels: polls

Posted by Teriana at 11:00 AM | Permalink | Comments

Labels: wordless wednesday

Posted by Teriana at 11:58 PM | Permalink | Comments